It wasn't very largeThere was just enough room to cram the drumsIn the corner over by the dodgeIt was a fifty-fourWith a mashed up doorAnd a cheesy little ampWith a sign on the front said fender champAnd a second hand guitarIt was a stratocaster with a whammy bar
At this point, larry (a guy who will eventually give up music and earn a respectable living as a roadie for a group called toad-o) joins in the song...
Larry:We could jam in joe's garageHis mama was screamin'His dad was madWe was playin' the same old songIn the afternoon 'n' sometimes we wouldPlay it all night longIt was all we knew, 'n' easy tooSo we wouldn't get it wrongAll we did was bend the string like...Hey!Down in joe's garageWe didn't have no dope or lsdBut a coupla quartsa beerWould fix it so the intonationWould not offend yer earAnd the same old chords goin' over 'n' overBecame a symphonyWe would play it again 'n' again 'n' again'cause it sounded good to meOne more time!We could jam in joe's garageHis mama was screamin',Turn it down!We was playing' the same old songIn the afternoon 'n' sometimes we wouldPlay it all night longIt was all we knew, and easy tooSo we wouldn't get it wrongEven if you played it on a saxophoneWe thought we was pretty goodWe talked about keepin' the band together'n' we figured that we should'cause about this time we was gettin' the eyeFrom the girls in the neighborhoodThey'd all come over 'n' dance aroundLike
Twenty teen-age girls dashIn and go stomp-clapStomp-clap-clap
So we picked out a stupid nameHad some cards printed up for a coupla bucks'n' we was on our way to fameGot matching suits 'n' beatle boots'n' a sign on the back of the car'n' we was ready to work in a go-go bar
One two three fourLet's see if you got some more!
People seemed to like our songThey got up 'n' danced 'n' made a lotta noiseAn' it wasn't 'fore very longA guy from a company we can't nameSaid we oughta take his pen'n' sign on the line for a real good timeBut he didn't tell us whenThese good times would be somethin'That was really happenin'So the band broke upAn' it looks likeWe will never play again...
Joe:Guess you only get one chance in lifeTo play a song that goes like
(and, as the band plays their little songMrs. borg (who keeps her son syIn the closet with the vacuum cleaner)Screams out the window
Mrs. borg:Turn it down!Turn it down!I have children sleeping here...Don't you boys know any nice songs?
Joe:(speculating on the future)Well the years was rollin' by, yeahHeavy metal 'n' glitter rockHad caught the public eye, yeahSnotty boys with lipstick onWas really flyin' high, yeah'n' then they got that disco thing'n' new wave came along'n' all of a sudden I thought the timeHad come for that old songWe used to play in joe's garageAnd if I am not wrongYou will soon be dancin' to
Central scrutinizer:The white zone isFor loading andUnloading only. if youGotta load or unload,Go to the whiteZone, you'll love it
Joe:Well the years was rollin' by
Mrs. borg:I'm calling the police!I did it! they'll be here...shortly!
Officer butzis:This is the police...
Mrs. borg:I'm not joking around anymore
Officer butzis:We have the garage surroundedIf you give yourself upWe will not harm youOr hurt you neither
Mrs. borg:You'll see them
Officer butzis:This is the police
Mrs. borg:There they are, they're coming!
Officer butzis:Give yourself upWe will not harm you
Mrs. borg:Listen to that mess, would you?
Officer butzis:This is the policeGive yourself upWe have the garage surrounded
Mrs. borg:Everday this goes on around here!
Officer butzis:We will not harm you, or maim you(swat team 4, move in!)
Mrs. borg:He used cut my grass...He was very nice boy...That's disgusting!!
Central scrutinizer:This is the central scrutinizer...That was joe's first confrontation with the law.Naturally, we were easy on him.One of our friendly counselors gave himA do-nut...and told him toStick closer to church-oriented social activities.